It's almost time-
In 3 days Grace and I will be in Tennessee visiting my mom, Aunt Sandy, Uncle Mark and Arlene (and a possible visit from our family in Indiana--oh how I am praying we get to see them!).
There is much to be done before we leave.
Items to check off a To-Do list, photos to take of my gorgeous pregnant friend, a coffee date with one of my bestest buds, cleaning, packing, and most importantly spending quality time with Loren.
We are getting very excited.
The only hard part is leaving Loren behind.
I am going to miss my husband more than I've ever missed him before.
And, poor, sweet Grace is already crying about him not being with us......must-be-strong-for-Grace. The thought of him not being with us is so foreign. We have never left our house (for travel) without him before. Never traveled alone before. Never flown alone. He is the best husband and best father, so for us this will be challenging.
BUT, I know we are going to have a splendid time, the best time! We are going to make some incredible memories. It is going to be an adventure to remember. And, Grace is old enough now that I think she will be able to keep these memories stored up for a lifetime. Bring on the fun!
....and, Loren is going to have a blast at home. He has plans of hikes and scooter rides galore.....when he's not working that is.
A few prayers to lift up before we head out on the 7th....
1. We will be leaving at 5am on Tuesday, followed by a 2 hour drive to Seattle, then a 2 hour wait at the air port followed by two long plane rides and a lay over. With traveling alone & with a little munchkin this is quite intimidating for me. We are going to be utterly exhausted by the time we get to TN and then you add in the 3 hour time change. A glorious long night of sleep and a day to recoup will be calling our names. Please pray for travel safeties. Sleep (Grace and I are both incredibly light sleepers and we don't sleep too well when we aren't home). And, for Grace as she leaves her daddy.
2. As you know I am going to be teaching a dance class this summer. Good news: my Monday class filled up, and then some. Praise God. Because of this I just opened up a 2nd class. The only problem is that I am leaving right as I open it so getting people to sign up and being present for people to contact me with questions and coordinating registration forms, payments, etc. is going to be very challenging while away on vacation. I pray the class fills up even with me being away so that when I return we are set to go.
Thank you for your prayers.
And, Mom.
I know I've said this before but THANK YOU!
Thank you for this lovely opportunity.
I can not wait to see you, hug you and tell you how much I love you.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Desire
I've realized that since we moved here 9 months ago, only one person has ever invited us over for a play date (w/out me initiating/suggesting it or helping plan it). This all hit me this morning as I sent an email out to all the mama's I know asking if they would like to join Grace and I at the museum for a last minute play date. It hit me that I desired deeply to be on the receiving end of one of those emails. To feel included. Wanted. Needed.
My heart just longs for honesty, deep, meaningful relationships.
"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman." Tammy Wynette
In a small town there is not much to do. Cliques have already been established (so not fond of cliques-didn't participate in HS and refuse to do it as an adult). It can be a vary lonely place. I was blessed by moving to not have to work these last few months so I made sure to get involved in bible study, small group, story time, etc. which allowed Grace & I to be surround by many wonderful people and feel greatly involved. Plus being a planner by nature I tend to plan and ask other mom's if they want to do things with us so that keeps us having fun and staying connected as well.
However, I only have three more months to do things with my mama friends before I go back to work and my life was like it was 9 months ago; Working and then spending most afternoons alone as everyone else is play date(ed) out. This is probably why my mind is circling with extra thoughts this morning.
Time is ticking. I am going to miss this special time with them and with my girl. But, I also think--if I haven't been included in things up to this point what is going to happen when I have to take myself out of the day to day stuff that kept me in weekly contact with these people--are we (Grace & I) going to get forgotten about?
Oh the questions that run through our minds as women.
I am such a big believer in sticking together as moms. Including even the mom that no one else wants to include, the mom who has the kid who's a little harder to handle. Reach out to the shy mom who's insecure. We need to be a Motherhood! We need to take care of each other. Watch each others kids. Offer assistance when needed. Be a shoulder to cry on. I just have this vision of everyone working together, thinking of each others needs, taking care of one another.
I have some wonderful mom friends-some moms who are just like this (Praise God). They are spectacular; spectacularly unique and special. And, for the first time I am surround by many moms with the same values that Loren & I hold to be true. It's a beautiful thing. This post is definitely not about not having friends because I have been blessed beyond measure.
....but about the need to feel desired.
I am reading Captivating and it touches on a woman's need to be desired. I feel very desired by my husband in many ways but I didn't think I would have this strong of a desire for relationships with friends. It's amazing.
"To be desired, to be pursued by one who loves you, to be someones priority? Most of our addictions as women flare up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after. At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, wanted and pursued." Captivating
John and Stasi Eldredge
Do you desire to be desired?
Have you ever felt left out as a mom? a friend?
Have you ever felt alone or left out even while being surrounded by people on a regular basis?
**I write this knowing that I am not the only one who has ever felt this or asked themselves these questions. I want you to know that you are not alone. To be honest, my life is full! My life is joyful! I love my life. But, I am human-have human thoughts, worries, doubts. Life as a wife, a mom, a female is such a vast and versatile thing-a beautiful thing as it's how God created us to be. As hard as it can be at times I am grateful to desire things so deeply-so deeply at times that it *hurts*-to know that God deeply desires my heart, your heart and yearns for us more than we yearn for any relationship.
"After years of hearing the heart cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, "Why won't you choose me?" It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point. "You will find me," says the Lord, "when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13). In other words, "Look for me, pursue me--I want you to pursue me." Amazing. As Tozer says, "God waits to be wanted."
-Captivating
John and Stasi Eldredge
-Wow-
Change of heart-GO!
So, more so than desiring honesty, deep, meaningful relationships with friends (which isn't a bad thing at all), I need & want to desire God to that extent as well--and first and foremost.
-Love-
I love how I start a post about one thing and at the end God speaks to my heart and turns my thoughts around and changes me from with in.
Done.
Now, I leave you with: Happy Thursday & a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Brooke!!!! One of the most amazing people I know!
I pray your day is full of deep meaningful desires that God fulfills in beautiful ways that surprise you moment by moment.
And, to those friends how have included us, invited us over, loved on us and made us feel special-thank you! You know who you are. Our lives are richer and more full because of you! I pray that you feel as loved as you have made us feel.
My heart just longs for honesty, deep, meaningful relationships.
"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman." Tammy Wynette
In a small town there is not much to do. Cliques have already been established (so not fond of cliques-didn't participate in HS and refuse to do it as an adult). It can be a vary lonely place. I was blessed by moving to not have to work these last few months so I made sure to get involved in bible study, small group, story time, etc. which allowed Grace & I to be surround by many wonderful people and feel greatly involved. Plus being a planner by nature I tend to plan and ask other mom's if they want to do things with us so that keeps us having fun and staying connected as well.
However, I only have three more months to do things with my mama friends before I go back to work and my life was like it was 9 months ago; Working and then spending most afternoons alone as everyone else is play date(ed) out. This is probably why my mind is circling with extra thoughts this morning.
Time is ticking. I am going to miss this special time with them and with my girl. But, I also think--if I haven't been included in things up to this point what is going to happen when I have to take myself out of the day to day stuff that kept me in weekly contact with these people--are we (Grace & I) going to get forgotten about?
Oh the questions that run through our minds as women.
I am such a big believer in sticking together as moms. Including even the mom that no one else wants to include, the mom who has the kid who's a little harder to handle. Reach out to the shy mom who's insecure. We need to be a Motherhood! We need to take care of each other. Watch each others kids. Offer assistance when needed. Be a shoulder to cry on. I just have this vision of everyone working together, thinking of each others needs, taking care of one another.
I have some wonderful mom friends-some moms who are just like this (Praise God). They are spectacular; spectacularly unique and special. And, for the first time I am surround by many moms with the same values that Loren & I hold to be true. It's a beautiful thing. This post is definitely not about not having friends because I have been blessed beyond measure.
....but about the need to feel desired.
I am reading Captivating and it touches on a woman's need to be desired. I feel very desired by my husband in many ways but I didn't think I would have this strong of a desire for relationships with friends. It's amazing.
"To be desired, to be pursued by one who loves you, to be someones priority? Most of our addictions as women flare up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after. At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, wanted and pursued." Captivating
John and Stasi Eldredge
Do you desire to be desired?
Have you ever felt left out as a mom? a friend?
Have you ever felt alone or left out even while being surrounded by people on a regular basis?
**I write this knowing that I am not the only one who has ever felt this or asked themselves these questions. I want you to know that you are not alone. To be honest, my life is full! My life is joyful! I love my life. But, I am human-have human thoughts, worries, doubts. Life as a wife, a mom, a female is such a vast and versatile thing-a beautiful thing as it's how God created us to be. As hard as it can be at times I am grateful to desire things so deeply-so deeply at times that it *hurts*-to know that God deeply desires my heart, your heart and yearns for us more than we yearn for any relationship.
"After years of hearing the heart cry of women, I am convinced beyond a doubt of this: God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone. How could we have missed this? From cover to cover, from beginning to end, the cry of God's heart is, "Why won't you choose me?" It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point. "You will find me," says the Lord, "when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13). In other words, "Look for me, pursue me--I want you to pursue me." Amazing. As Tozer says, "God waits to be wanted."
-Captivating
John and Stasi Eldredge
-Wow-
Change of heart-GO!
So, more so than desiring honesty, deep, meaningful relationships with friends (which isn't a bad thing at all), I need & want to desire God to that extent as well--and first and foremost.
-Love-
I love how I start a post about one thing and at the end God speaks to my heart and turns my thoughts around and changes me from with in.
Done.
Now, I leave you with: Happy Thursday & a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Brooke!!!! One of the most amazing people I know!
I pray your day is full of deep meaningful desires that God fulfills in beautiful ways that surprise you moment by moment.
And, to those friends how have included us, invited us over, loved on us and made us feel special-thank you! You know who you are. Our lives are richer and more full because of you! I pray that you feel as loved as you have made us feel.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
ANXIETY: A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties
We all have had, felt, experienced anxiety.
anxi·ety (aŋ zī′ə tē)
- a state of being uneasy, apprehensive, or worried about what may happen; concern about a possible future event
- Psychiatry an abnormal state like this, characterized by a feeling of being powerless and unable to cope with threatening events, typically imaginary, and by physical tension, as shown by sweating, trembling, etc.
- an eager but often uneasy desire: anxiety to do well
Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6, 7
I love this Scripture verse. I run it through my head on a regular basis.
But at the same time it can be slightly frustrating. Well, the scripture is not what's frustrating, it's the fact that the anxiety does not just go away the instant you ask and that there's a process, sometimes a long and painful process, to get to that point.
It is easy to say "do not be anxious" but to actually get rid of your anxiety is a totally different feat.
I wouldn't say that I suffer from anxiety but when things are unknown, feeling out of our control, have the potential to have a negative effect & when things are not going the way they are "suppose" to, people start passing judgement/misrepresented, etc. I tend to feel great waves on anxiety. And, it has the potential to be all consuming. And, there is NO WAY I want anything to be all consuming except my relationship with my heavenly father,
I don't hate a lot of things but I loath, abhor, despise, detest....you get the point....anxiety.
I have many friends who suffer greatly from it and it breaks my heart.
I have always wondered: How does one get rid of anxiety?
I've prayed.
I've read scripture.
I've been an open book and told people about what's going on but the only thing that ever seems to "make" it stop is for the situation to be over/resolved or so far removed that I don't think about it anymore.
How do you extinguish your anxiety?
Of course I will always pray when feeling this way. Always seek scripture for truth and comfort. But I just keep thinking; there has got to be a quick fix. And, then I laugh.....God allows things for a reason and most things worth really working on and fixing take time and require more than a "quick fix;" they require a heart change.
"knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance" 1 James 1-3
"Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance." Romans 5: 3
I know it must seem odd that I am writing about anxiety this evening.
It's not the typical conversation topic on our blog, but tonight I am anxious.
Fearing the unknown (sorry to be so vague) but at the same time knowing that even if the *worst* happens God will be there to help us through. I just can't stand the not knowing part. I love God with all my heart. I trust in Him and have seen Him do miraculous things in dire situations in our lives but I am human. I lack faith at times. I lack trust. I deny, not purposefully, the things I know to be true and therefore I fear, feel anxious, and wait. But, in the midst of that I pray and seek Gods comfort and know deep down in my heart that in the end.....
the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
And, as I wrote that it just hit me....I seek him more in these times of doubt. Hmmmm......
Maybe He is allowing me to feel this way in certain circumstances because not only do I need more of Him but He wants more from me.
On that note, I will say goodnight.
Go snuggle up to my hubby who is already in dreamland and pray as I fall asleep and trust that by tomorrow afternoon all will be well.....well, with our souls.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)